The winter of 2008 seemed just a bit colder and empty compared to all the other winters in my life time.  I spent the months reminiscing the years leading up to December 29, 2007 but more so those last few weeks prior to that day.  Everyone has a different definition to who their father is.  For me he was my best friend.  Christmas eve we had some words over unresolved family matters and I expressed my concerns to what will happen when my mother and him pass on.  I never knew how near in the future that part of those words would come true.  Christmas Day seemed very special.  He spoke of all the work my mother and he did decorating the outside in the many strands of lights.  He spoke of all the gifts they wrapped for the children, grandchildren and great grandchildren.  There must have been over 200 gifts under that tree and throughout the room.  He talked about all the food preparation and the three hams they cooked.  He expressed that next year he didn’t think he would be able to do it all as he sat in his chair appearing to be very tired.  For my parents Christmas was always the biggest highlight of the year that brought the family together.  I think my parents most enjoyed watching the kids’ excitement opening all the gifts and reminiscing of all the Christmas’s that passed especially those funny moments.  We still laugh about the time he received false teeth made of Chiclets to replace the set he had that were broken or the time he received an old beat up pair of dress shoes.  He often complained how my brother wore his shoes and ruined them so the shoes had a card that my brother was returning his shoes. 

The next few days my father didn’t seem to slow down.  Without us fully knowing he decided to replace two tires on my daughter’s car.  I often wish he wouldn’t have pushed himself that day but to him he really wanted to repay my daughter for the work she had done for him.  The next day he conducted business as usual.  I was at a wrestling tournament with my son.  Dad was supposed to be there.  A few people asked about him and I said I thought he was coming.  He decided to stay home that day to take a break from all the running.  That afternoon he went out top burn his garbage and retrieve the mail.  He came in the house and sat at the kitchen table as he reviewed over the mail.  In just an instance he was gone.  That evening at the hospital we all felt so empty.  I was in emotional shock feeling very numb inside.  His hand still had a bit of warmth but yet I felt very cold knowing his soul was now gone.  For the next several days I would remain in that cryonic state still in a state of shock.  Each time I would look at my children I would see him and the many, many moments he took out of his time to spend with me growing up.  It was then I began to sink into deep thought to define who my father was and the legacy in which he will leave. 

My father was born in 1938 about 3 months after his natural father died of a heart attack while working in the mines.  My Dad said the family often speculated that his father was electrocuted in the mine and it was covered up.  His father was the chief of the local union and came from a mining family. Dad's grandfather came from Scotland and began working in the mines soon after his arrival.  Being fatherless, the first several years of my dad’s life were extremely difficult.  It was during the WWII era when resources were in short supply.  His mother had to work whatever job she could mainly doing house cleaning and basically was just surviving trying to raise 8 children.  She was a hard worker but the jobs she did paid little.  At times some of the children had to stay with relatives.  Dad’s sister of less than 10 years his elder assumed much of the responsibility in caring for him while his mother was working.  Dad recalled there being very little to eat referring to only having some dried biscuits to eat for a week.  He often told of the story when he was a child and went to some children’s event to where each child was to bring some hotdogs to eat.  He had none to bring.  He claims the other kids were pushing their hotdogs in the dirt and all he could think about is how much he wanted one of those hotdogs to eat.  Dad expressed that due to being poor someone gave him an old German Army coat to wear for the winter.  The coat was altered in order for it to fit.  Many children including the teachers scoffed at him for wearing that coat.  His mother had re-married but his step father was an alcoholic and did not work.  He did not talk much about his step-father but from some of what I gathered from him he was abusive and uninvolved with dad.  When dad became a teenager his mother was finally able to receive some welfare. This was something that really offended him and for many years to come he looked at collecting welfare as a sign of great weakness.  He states that at one time he earned some money working on the farm and bought his half siblings some clothes.  His mother mentioned to public welfare that he bought the clothes and they took her financial assistance that month leaving the family no money to buy food. 

Dad sometimes but not often spoke of his upbringing mentioning being poor and constantly being scoffed by other kids.  He rarely spoke about how he was raised by his step-father but eluded to feeling like an outsider.  It appeared that he was not accepted and faced some verbal abuse as well as a lot of neglect especially around the holidays.  These things left him very angry and rebellious as a teenager.  When people would laugh at him he often became enraged and would physically retaliate.  He mentioned that one time he struck his friend over the head while he was driving just for laughing at him.  Another had to grab the wheel to keep the car from wrecking.  In another incident Dad was at a high school football game and was confronted with disrespect.  He just couldn’t walk away.  The confrontation led to him being stabbed in the leg. 

Dad states that if was not for meeting my mother and soon after accepting the Lord as his savior he would have ended up in jail.  When dad graduated high school his yearbook stated his nickname was breezy.  Just this Christmas I asked him what the name stood for.  He claims it stood for him being “cool” but my aunt told me it was because he had the gift of talking.  Dad married my mom shortly after high school and worked in a machine shop.  The two lived in a trailer not much bigger than a camping trailer.  When dad mostly spoke of these days he told about his life discovering the things of God.  It was said to his mother that one day one of her children would be a minister.  Although Dad never pastured a church he certainly was a minister of the gospel.  I recall how dad spoke about the evening he received the baptism of the Holy Ghost.  He said a friend prayed with him that day and that evening he claims he saw the fiery hand of God be placed upon his head and he began to speak in other tongues.  Another pinnacle moment in his young adult life was when my brother as just a toddler needed surgery to remove his testicles.  Dad prayed heavily in the hospital asking God to intercede.  He promised God that he would never smoke again if he healed him.  My brother was healed that same evening and never needed that operation.  Later in life he would have 4 children.  My dad never smoked again. 

Dad spent his early adult life as a Boy Scout leader.  His teaching at times seemed unorthodox but it certainly impacted the kids he supervised.  He told of the many stories of camping in the winter and learning to survive by the kids huddling together.  He told of how he taught them to swim by throwing them in the water and wouldn’t rescue them until they began to sink.  He spoke of gathering chickens from the farmer and it being the only thing the kids were allowed to eat for the day while out for the night in the woods.  The kids had to de-feather the chicken and cook it on open flame.  Dad also told about the type of discipline he used.  One time he said a kid was constantly bullying another kid.  In order to correct the problem he tied their wrists together, blind folded them and tied rolled up newspaper to their hands.  Neither one would strike the other waiting for the other to land the first crack.  Dad then hit the kid with newspaper who was the one being bullied.  He then swung at the other kid.  The two swung about and then finally quit after both were crying.  He said there was never issue between the two thereafter.  It sounds like my dad had a bit of a mean streak but he actually gave a lot of himself to them.  At his funeral a few of them came to pay their respects.  They themselves were in their fifties now.  One said dad was like a big brother.  He said that when he joined the scouts he could not swim.  He spoke about how dad just threw him in 12 feet of water and how petrified he was.  He claims by the end of the week he was able to swim a quarter mile to pass his test.  He states dad not only taught him how to swim but how to save others including if the canoe tipped over.   He claims later in life he was canoeing with 2 other guys.  The canoe tipped over.  Neither of the guys knew how to swim.  He said he heard my dad yelling to be calm and everything came back to him.  He turned the canoe and told the two to hold onto it.  He then swam and tugged the canoe until he could reach shore saving all three of them. 

Dad also spent his many years teaching church youth groups.  He led many to Christ.  He often referenced a time when he built a youth group to 50 in a church that only had about 12 members.  He believed that in order for people to change, they first have to come to know and love God.  The youth loved his messages.   Then one day the pastor came to him and said he needed to tell the youth to cut their hair and dress differently.  This was during the hippy era.  Dad said he could not do that or the youth would just stop coming.  The pastor said either tell them or he would be replaced.  My dad never went back to that church.  It folded 6 months later. 

Dad had a way with evangelism.  A girl related to the family who had was having a lot of difficulties as a teen came to church one day seeking counseling.  Dad was instrumental in her finding the Lord.  Just 3 weeks later she was murdered. 

Another young lady who went to his church was the worship leader.  She became pregnant out of wedlock.  The elders wanted to kick her out of the church.  My dad interceded by stating if she was removed from her position and the church he would leave.  He was an elder as well.  They kept her on worship.  I remember her weeping at his funeral. 

Dad different times spoke about a lady he led to the Lord at work many years ago.  She was having many difficulties and Dad gave her a bible. He wondered what ever happened to her.  One day dad was feeling down and defeated. He said to me that he felt he evangelized in vain.  He was ready to just throw in the tile.  That week someone invited him to a small church for a gospel sing.  He reluctantly went.  That evening he met a young man.  The man told my dad that his grandmother had the greatest influence on his family being saved.  He said that she prayed all the time and read a bible that she said someone gave her 30 years ago that led her to God.  This was the woman Dad gave the bible to.

In another incident dad was in a fender bender with a truck. The guy in the truck was from out of state and became quite outraged.  He tried to grab my Dad from the car.  Dad was in his 60’s and not going to fight.  Somehow Dad was able to get him to calm down, counsel him and then pray with him.  The guy did not know God but that day wept and said he never met someone like my dad. 

Another time Dad was pulled over by the police.  He began to argue with the police officer over a ticket.  Thre was a lot of shouting and then Dad got quiet and began to pray.  The officer looked at him oddly.  Dad said he had to repent before God for arguing and being disrespectful.  He then apologized to the officer.  The officer apologized.  The two later became friends. 

Not all of Dad’s days were with God.  He went several years just doing what he felt to get by.  He went to church faithfully but outside of church he did his own thing.  One day he lost his job at 53.  For the next two years he struggled with being depressed and angry.  At some point he was invited to a church camp out of state.  He did not want to go but eventually just went.  God got a hold of him and from that point on he served God and finished the race.  His latter years were very devoted. 

Dad was married 48 years.    He initially worked in steel manufacturing but in his late 20’s became an insurance salesman.  He did that for 23 years before losing his job to an evil boss who vindictively fired him and about 25 other agents.  A few years later the company sent an apology letter and reinstated his pension.  The boss ebventually went to jail for stealing from another insurance company.  Dad worked several years in the election house, was a youth leader, boy scout leader and also was the organizer and leader of the local Promise Keepers. 

Dad seemed to have a unique way of Evangelizing.  Somehow he was able to introduce the gospel to anyone without coming across as beating them with it.

He strongly believed and preached the message that in these last days that Christians need to stop fighting over doctrines and come together uniting in brother and sisterhood.  He said that the basic fundamental was whether someone believed and accepted Christ as their savior.  If they believed in this fundamental truth then we need to recognize them as our brother and sister and not allow other doctrines to tear apart that relationship.  He became upset when Christians criticized other denominations and warned about how this hinders the gospel and places people in a form of pride and self righteousness. 

When he was a child he often played with other black children during a time when segregation was popular.  Dad was very poor and rejected by many white children and found a sense of belonging with the black children in the community.  In his adult life he didn’t have that racial barrier built up and had a way of breaking down strongholds among the cultures.  It was an honor when two of his black friends stood at his funeral and spoke good things about him.  One of them said he would never have joined the promise keepers with white folk if it hadn’t been for my dad and the way he reached out to him and his church. 

I miss my dad and many times still see him in my sleep or remember him in my interactions with my children.  I have learned many good things from my fathers life and much of who I am comes from him.